RENEE: Tell me something dirty!ME: Are you getting naked?RENEE: No. Should I be?ME: Yes!A few moments passed.RENEE: Okay. Naked! Now tell me something dirty.ME: First, I want to kiss your neck.RENEE: Okay.ME: Then I want to slowly work my tongue down to your chest.RENEE: Then what?ME: Then I want to take your nipple into my mouth and gently bite it.RENEE: Nice. Are you naked?ME: I’m at work.RENEE: But you’re in the bathroom. Is there a lock on the door?ME: Yes. It’s locked.RENEE: Then get naked!ME: Would take too long.RENEE: Okay. Well, I’m naked… Are you playing with yourself?ME: Uh…RENEE: Well?ME: Maybe.RENEE: Are you hard?ME: Yes.RENEE: I want to see it.ME: That can be arranged.RENEE: Are you touching it?ME: I’m considering it.RENEE: Touch it!ME: Here?RENEE: I want you to jack off!ME: Are you touching yourself?RENEE: Yep.ME: Tell me everything.RENEE: Okay. I’m lying on my bed, completely naked.ME: Yes?RENEE: My legs are spread and I’m making little circles around my clit with my. . I kept thinking `Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.’ Then I said, `Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?’ ‘No,’ he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, ‘Danny did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled `SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!’ While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!✧ ✧ ✧LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman.
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